Horrendous Experience

We stayed one night and that was one night too long! We were greeted by a plumpish young woman whose breasts were winning the battle to escape from her undersized top - add to that the comedic, black beauty spot on one cheek and you have a scene out of a Carry On in Desperation movie. The room was fairish for this type of guest house; however the hosts were obviously anticipating a degree of incontinence judging by the plastic mattress cover. Breakfast was on a par with Fawlty Towers at its worst. As we entered the dining room we heard other guests commenting on the poor quality of the toast and the impossibility of obtaining scrambled egg. We sat down with our cereal and after a short time a swarthy 'waiter appeared holding two English breakfasts, which he plonked down on our table, although we had not ordered. My wife said that she didn't want her's as she is vegetarian and requested poached egg on toast. The 'waiter', who apparently neither understood or spoke English, ushered the woman 'manager' over to us where we explained our requirements. We were told that, " what do you mean, vegetarian? ..we only do English breakfasts, ; we can't do poached eggs.. You should have warned us! Despite my protestations the 'manager' was going to stand her ground. It was unbelievable. We gave up on my wife's food and I ventured into my English breakfast. It really had to be a joke, Candid Camera or something. One tinned tomato which had come straight from a tin, unheated, baked beans (which I do not particularly like and never order) again cold, an over-cooked small fried egg, a strange triangular thing which, if it was supposed to be a hash-brown, was totally tasteless rubbish, a rasher of what looked like reasonable bacon but which tasted of soap-suds and two plasticy, cheap and cheerless sausages. I left most of it. The toast was down to the standard of the rest of the meal. It took two requests to get our pot of tea, and when it did arrive the 'manager' told my wife, who had merely politely asked for a poached egg, that it (the tea)would have come quicker if she hadn't been so rude! This experience merged comedy with disbelieving incredulity, and I laughed at the funny side of it all. However the 'manager' lectured me about my 'sniggering' and said that she had had a bad day yesterday! I told her that the breakfast they had served was the worst I had ever experienced. She told us to "get out" There is a fantastic notice in the entrance hall - "In order to help guests with their budget, you are required to pay for your stay at the start of your holiday" This place is a disgrace.

Ted Pallot - 29/05/2007 | report this review