A nice building to soften the blow.

Preamble:Ok lets face it, if you're heading to the Magistrates Court it's rarely a good thing, unless you're a solicitor and then it can be very good because you're making loads of money. But for the most of us its because we were caught speeding/ shoplifting/ with drugs/ in bed with a 15yr old pupil. In the last two instances the Magistrates Court is probably just a stop on the way to the much scarier "Crown Court" just down the road. But enough with the preamble. Here's what you need to know.What you Need to Know1. Getting there. Situated on the avenue it is a 15 minute walk from Southampton central train station. Alternatively there is pay and display parking right outside on Rockstone Place. The nearest unrestricted parking that I am aware of is on Hulse Road but unless you arrive very early you'll be lucky to find a space. A more realistic option is Cemetery Road at the bottom of Southampton Common. As you come in to Southampton from the M3 continue straight down the A33, then turn right and right again just past The Cowherds pub. Park up here and its a 10-15 min walk (depending how far down Cemetery Road (also known locally as "Grape Ally" (Gay Rape) on account of all the homosexual activity that goes on down there after dark).2. Dress Code: On my all too frequent visits to the court there was as far as I could tell absolutely no dress code. In fact I was the only one other than the solicitors who bothered to put on a suit!3. Security: Is not bad but has flaws. No sniffer dogs - indeed I once went into court with an eighth in my pocket! There is a metal detector but they tend to be pretty lax about rechecking you after you've been out for a few fag breaks. Go in wearing some sort of metal belt that's difficult to take off and after a couple of checks you can generally walk through with nothing more than an apologetic nod to the security guard. Alternatively you could just plonk a bag with the small heavy metal object you don't want discovered in the tray and if you look kinda Arian like me chances are it won't be searched. There is a guard on site 24 hours a day so planting bombs to kill witnesses and shit like that is tough.4. Refreshments: There is a limited shop open at busy times serving the usual "friendly society" sort of fare. Tea, Coffee (instant), hot chocolate, snacks. Its ok I guess and the prices are VERY reasonable. Don't get coffee from the machine- you'll regret it if you do.5. Toilets. These are excellent. Clean and tidy. In fact I would recommend the court house as a good alternative to public conveniences if you happen to be caught short in the general area of the court house.6. Staff: The court staff (Reception, Ushers and Magistrates) are in my experience very nice and very helpful. Sometimes the Magistrates do bad things like taking your driving licence away but at least they had the decency to be apologetic about it when they took mine away.7. Ambience/ General: One group of people that nobody likes is policemen. Most of them are scum who have power complexes probably as a result of being bullied at school. Obviously quite a few tend to loiter around the court house and they really blight what is a fine example of modern architecture. The building is as I said a fine bit of work and indeed won the Civic Trust Award in 2003.

A User - 06/12/2008 | report this review